Bullying Must Be Changed Into Teaming! - Two More Letters To The Editors Of RE@L-Blog™ On Bullying And What Can Be Done To Stop It!
This week we are publishing two more letters from our readers on the continuing tragedy of K12 Bullying.
The OnlineCollege.org infographic on the right speaks directly to these issues and is republished here courtesy of the Creative Commons License™.
RE@L is appreciative of access to this critically important information to share with our readers.
Our last RE@L Blog on CyberBullying featured Letter Writer #1 who left us with some good ideas and suggestions. Included below are new anecdotes from Letter Writers #2 and #3.
RE@L is committed to CyberTeaming and eliminating CyberBullying.
RE@L-Blog Letter Writer #2:
“I was bullied starting as early as junior high by several senior high schoolers and a couple guys who had already graduated high school…I started on my high school football team in 9th grade as a running back and middle line backer. A senior (name withheld) was furious with me for taking his position during a game when he was out sick.
Later, after the game, when we got on the bus, most of the guys were giving me high-fives in the back of the bus. When I sat down, the kid I replaced in the game walked to my seat, swung his helmet and smashed me in the eye and nose with it, and told me to “get the *&*#@* out of the back of the bus as it was reserved for Seniors …nobody stuck up for me.
I had a headache for a week …My dad told me to deal with it myself, and my buddies told me NOT to tell the coach.
I can still feel the hurt and anger yet today…over 50 years ago.
About 5 months ago, I was invited to a business meeting, and met a guy who happened to be from my hometown when I was a kid. He said he grew up there too He was 10 years older than me…
He said he remembered my story and that his younger brother was the primary bully that beat me up and embarrassed me in front of the entire team
I told him my side of the story. Later, he confronted his younger brother. He was regretful, but did not want to reconnect with me or apologize. I was told that had his Dad found he had been bullying any person, he would have severely punished him. Their household was a God-fearing home…and abusing or hurting someone else would not have been tolerated.
Someday, I would love to do a TED talk on this, on how the world comes full circle. For many years, I had plans to beat the bully to a pulp with my bare hands….that’s how angry I too had become. I read somewhere that a high percentage of kids who bully others have been bullied themselves. More bullying just makes it worse.
I eventually forgave him, late in my 30’s. Listening to other friends seemed to lift the last bit of hurt and anger.
Ironically, the bully’s wife had been my classmate way back then, and over the years we were social friends. At a later year high-school reunion, she had heard about her husband’s bullying me and pleaded with me NOT to hurt her husband.
By then I had let go of my anger, and realized more violence was not the answer. She was very grateful. I never got an apology from him, but by then I didn’t need one. While one of us couldn’t apologize, we both had learned that bullying is never an answer.”
RE@L-Blog Letter Writer #3:
“I too was bullied. In my situation, there were some guys that were 4 to 5 years older than me. So, as a smaller 7th grader, dealing with a bully who was a senior in high school, this was a real challenge to me.
The day that he physically beat me up, I decided to take it to the next level. I told my mother “I am going to the park to shoot this kid.” I had my .22 single-shot rifle in my hand. But I waited to talk to my dad.
That night, when I told him, my dad “blew up” at me and beat me severely with a belt, and physically hurt me. I never knew for sure why. Psychologically, that scenario of events caused me to “suppress my actions” and internalize my anger and fears.
I recall feeling very alone for a long time. Hurt and empty, I recall wanting to shoot these idiots, at least in the kneecaps, and, if not with a rifle, then with a crossbow! I felt defenseless, and alone, and had NO outlet or help to find a solution. My inner pain lasted for years.
And then, years later…
Many people shared with me that they now wished they had stepped up or stepped in. A few guys even said they would have confronted these idiots, if we could have all conspired together, and “teamed” up…and stuck together. Maybe it would have worked, but I am not sure that it wouldn’t have made it all worse.
Now, over the years, I have come to believe that more bullying and fighting was not the answer. It only made matters worse.
If just a few other friends had stood up with me in unity and confronted the bully, it could have been enough to stop the bullying. We might have made up with him and become friends. I wish now that we had.”
RE@L writes: What a sad story from Letter Writer #3. If only, if only, he had been able to get some help that could have stopped the bullying instead of making it worse.
There’s a great lesson to be learned here: If a bully confronts you, get help! Immediately!
RE@L-Blog™ recently provided resources and strategies to stop bullying. See our previous blogs. Click here for information. There is far too much hate in the world, much of it due to “dis-social” media. We need more respect for and acceptance of each other. RE@L believes we must be able to team with others to solve the many problems in the world.
The Golden Rule says it all: “Do unto others what you would have others do unto you!” Be a real team!
“CYBERTEAMS WILL CHANGE THE WORLD! RE@L WILL LEAD THE WAY!”
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